I love to cook.  When I cook, I typically cook for myself.  I figure, if it tastes good to me, then it's good, right?

Well... Usually.

My immediate family likes to eat.  When they eat, they outwardly express what they think about it.  If it's good, they let you know, and a cook can swell with pride at a job well done.  If it's not good, well, they let you know that too, which is OK because at least you learned something.

I've always enjoyed cooking for them.  Seeing people ENJOY what you made really makes it all worthwhile.

I've lived with my in-laws for a little while now, and I've tried cooking for them a number of times.  My wife enjoys food, and she'll eat and comment pleasantly about what I made.  The problem lies with everyone else.  I give a little example:

I say that I will cook today.  My mother-in-law is pleased, because that means that she doesn't have to.  I begin the process, and said mother-in-law dislikes any aromas coming from the kitchen, as she has a hyper-sensitive nose, and I like to cook with spice.  Also, the kitchen has little to no ventilation.

As I am cooking, my father in law approaches, wrinkles his nose, shakes his head, and walks off.  My brother in law hides in his room.

The food is ready, and I declare as such.  Everyone takes their time getting up, they wander over and look at what I've made.  I have to explain it to them.  They dish up, cautiously, and sit down.

I make myself a plate, taste the food, and I am extremely pleased and proud of it.  I glance up in search of approval, and I see my father-in-law wolfing it down with no facial expression.  My mother in law pensively eating a small portion, and my brother-in-law microwaving a hot pocket.  I am thoroughly enjoying the food, and my wife is happily eating her portion.

I ask "How is it?"  My father-in-law shrugs.  My mother-in-law says "I didn't have to make it, so it's OK with me." and my brother-in-law is nowhere to be seen, probably eating his hot pocket in his room.

I tell you, it's soul sucking.

I've tried a number of dishes, and all have had a similar outcome.  I once made something experimental that I was not happy with.  It was not good, and strangely, their reaction was the same.

The first time I cooked for them, it turned out pretty foul.  It was a recipe I had never attempted before, and I failed.  I knew it, and I warned them.  Though it was at least fairly edible.  For some reason here, they commented that it was delicious, though the way they picked at the plate said otherwise.  My brother-in-law said it was the best meal he had ever eaten.  I later learned that he told his mom that it made him want to vomit.

I do not appreciate such blatant disregard for the cook.

When I do not cook, they live off a diet of bland, boxed dinners and microwave burritos.  My mother-in-law is not much of a foodie, so this is what she makes.  My father in law was, allegedly, once a chef, so his reaction to food as simply something to shovel into his face surprises me.

I try to trick my mind into thinking that they appreciate it.  I tell myself "They aren't talking, and they ate it.  So they must enjoy it so much that they were too busy eating to say anything.  Like the Carl's Jr commercials."  This delusion doesn't last long.

I really prefer to cook for my wife, immediate family, and friends, because they seem to enjoy and comment on what I make.  When I'm cooking, they say "Mmmm, that smells good." not "What is that smell, smells like you're fermenting an armadillo in here!"

How can I survive this situation?  Anyone else have a similar experience?  Vent your gastronomical woes here!

My Suggestion is offer them something similar to what they are used to (I know for me too that would be hard, I make spicy chilies and flavorful vegitarian dishes) but if you can imitate what they like most and slowy change it, ask for opinions as well. For example: "I think I might have put too much salt or cayenne, what do you think?" - and direct that at the people who won't comment. If the Bro likes pizza pops, make a calzone dinner one night, where everyone gets a little involved by choosing what they want in it and stuff.

If you also get them into it where they aren't really cooking but it's an enjoyable activity they will be more active in talking.

My father and mother in law constantly comment how good my food tastes... but I had to cook my entire life and learn through cooking classes the last like 10 years to get remotely good.

According to my mom, a big part of providing for a family is mostly met with indifference. How often did you say to your mom after meals "Gee I really liked that mom you sure are a swell cool."

I didn't start doing that until I was old enough to realize that she should have the benefit of some positive appreciation. If I enjoy something I tell her at the table, and I always try to remember to say thank you to her for making me supper. But my brothers, sisters, and dad don't seem to care as much about giving my mom emotional support and, like your family, fill thier faces and leave the table.

Unfortunatley, that kind of maturity doesn't dawn on everyone. Part of having a family I imagine is doing things without any sort of reward or suport from them, but just doing it because you care for them.

I try and make an effort to thank anyone that makes me a meal, family or otherwise (friend's parents, etc) regardless of how much time it took to make the meal.  I think I was raised that way so the politeness has been ingrained, though I do actually appreciate having food made for me.  I've only recently began attemtping to cook and I've begun to appreciate the time and effort that can go into cooking even a simple meal. 

Chanicakes' suggestions sound like a good idea and would probably be worth a shot.  I can't really think of anything else to try.

Are they midwestern or something?  A lot of midwestern people are positively phobic of spices.  Try cooking really bland food and see what happens!

dude just ask them what they'd like for dinner and go with what you think you can do.

Also cut back on the spices if they aren't into the stuff you're using and use normal shit they could get a handle on first.


Also, if it seems like they're being a little more grateful for your cooking make sure you let them know that you'd like some comments from them or something. If not, then fuck them they suck.


I'd stick with basic dishes too because if they're not appreciative of the unusual shit you're doing now then they probably just don't like that kind of food

I have prepared bland food in a style that they are used to.  Box-meal chicken Alfredo that tastes like noodly paste is a common staple.  Shake-and-Bake pork chops are very common here as well.  When I do these dishes that they are used to, my mother-in-law is still happy that she doesn't have to cook, and everyone else still consumes it with no expression.  My brother-in-law still microwaves a hot pocket, because even though it's the same thing he's used to, his mom didn't make it.  He'll eat it if he doesn't know I cooked it.

When I try to mix things up, like making real, fresh burritos instead of frozen ones stuck in the oven.  I make them in a Build-Your-Own-Burrito kind of way, so they can add or omit whatever ingredients they want, and have it as spicy or not as they please.  Their reaction remains unchanged.

I think I understand why my mother-in-law prefers to cook meals that come in a box.  They are easy, quick, and the amount of appreciation she'll get is roughly the same as if she were to prepare a lavish, gourmet meal.

Some people are just like that, really. I make dinner a few times a week but I don't really expect a 'wow, that was nice!'. Most of the time we don't eat at the table together so as long as they eat it then I'm happy.

I understand what you mean though - the total indifference of a family like that would really get to annoy me. Your brother-in-law sounds like a bit of a dick. I don't really understand the whole eating out of a box thing because it's not really healthy and it's processed as hell and usually doesn't even taste good! I spose it's what some people are used to.

Maybe try doing a small roast dinner one night? Something not too expensive like chicken. If they don't appreciate that (because every meat eater likes a roast, right?) then it'd just be them and I guess you'll have to learn to live with it.

Bondo, you always make such sad topics...

But he does have a pretty interesting life though, so we enjoy his topics regardless

Bondo, the important thing is that your girl at least appreciates your food. You won't live their forever, and when you two are on your own, you can satisfy your pleasure of serving someone appreciative of your talent. For now, slap some spagetti together lol

I think that asking them what they like beforehand would be good! Because then they'd sort of anticipate what they're going to eat. Unless all they answer to that is "mcdonalds" or "gonna call for a pizza" with a groan or something.

Like, people at home always been cooking for them, so they just gobble it up without really thinking about it. In that case, I guess that getting some weird supper they aren't used to is sort of an annoyance to them, like they were anticipating routine and not "special food". If you ask them beforehand though, it should help.

Well, since we're on the topic I have a confession to make:  I do not know how to make instant potatoes.

I don't know why I find it so frustrating to simply look on the back of the box for directions and go from there.  Rather than a sensible approach, I simply grab the flakes and creatively stew them into mushy potato-esque goo and slap some butter on it. 

I do it differently each time, too.  Sometimes I mix butter and flakes and add cold water and cook it on the stovetop.  Other times I microwave unmeasured amounts of flakes and water and hope for a tasty result.  When I'm feeling froggy I make something like hamburger helper and just stir the flakes in with the sauce mix and see what happens.

Either way, my girlfriend absolutely HATES that I don't read directions on boxed food and always intervenes when I'm in the middle of fucking it up.  It's really goddamn annoying.

you should learn to read dude instant potatos are easey as shit

but I like my potatoes REAL



aren't you supposed to use milk not water water is shit

it really gets on my goat when people can't shut up about food. it really gets on my goat.

maybe your girlfriends parents come from a culture that isn't as hedonistic and depraved as yours and so they don't feel it appropriate to simply do what feels good and emit orgasmic sounds as they digest your magic potion

Bondo, I wouldn't worry about the brother-in-law, for one.  Chances are, if he's eating Hot Pockets, he obviously doesn't know good food from bad food--not to mention he must not care about the really questionable ingredients in those things.  How anyone could choose to eat that shit daily is beyond me.  Just eating one of those is enough to ruin my appetite for the entire day, practically.

Anyway, your in-laws sound exactly like my dad's side of the family (they're all really comfortable with bland and flavorless food), they won't eat anything ethnic unless it's Americanized Mexican or Italian dishes and they only use salt and pepper when they cook.  Honestly, you really can't convince these people to start eating wisely or to appreciate anything new, so your best bet is to just make spaghetti or something that isn't too intimidating when they're over, like everyone else is saying.  That, or you could have an ALL AMERICAN BBQ with PRAM RIEBBS, hot dogs and burgers.

Im thinking that your best bet is to make something very recognizable to them, but give it your subtle unique touch, so they wont approach the food as cautiously and be hopefully PLEASANTLY SURPRISED.

Maybe start with just regular Bolognese spagetti that's just done right without anything fancy or unusual, a recognizable taste that will put...put them in confidence..... and then WHAMMY you make something more special and work your way up?

Man some of you guys are making it sound like these people are HORRIBLE PEOPLE for not liking certain foods why is this?

I mean I agree I don't get how people can eat shit like hot pockets but a few of you guys are acting like they are horrible, uncultured heathens who don't dare to try new things and are somehow bad for not liking spices.  Maybe they just don't like that kind of food, it's not like they can really help it.

It's one thing that they don't appreciate that Bondo cooked for them, but it's another to be upset that they don't appreciate WHAT you cooked.  It's just tastes.