Alright, so I went to go hang out with my brother today and we decided to go laptop shopping at Staples. We end up buying one and decide to pick it up tomorrow. We decide to cruise to the next store which is Wal-Mart. And I enjoy loitering in Wal-Mart. So we go in and cruise to the weights department and pretend we're buff.

Now, I'm a pretty skinny hipster/scene guy and my brother is built well enough. And we're just chillin' and this huge 6'1 dude slides by us and asks me if I'm 18. I wasn't really in a good mood, and quite frankly I'm really dicky sometimes and I've had relationship issues with this girl I'm seeing. Anyway, I told him "Yeah, but what is it to you?" And he asks me if I'll buy him cigarettes. I told him I would if he gave me 5 bucks and the dude goes off. It's hilarious because he said something along the lines of "You aren't a decent human being" At that point I tell him to go suck a row of dicks. And I thought that would be the end of it.

So we leave and we turn around the aisle. It happened so fast, the dude grabs my shoulder and spins me around and says like "Welcome to America mother fucker" and he just decks me in the face. I was pretty shocked and my brother sort of jumps in and pushes him against the wall and starts uppercutting him in an ark, because we're short. I kind of recover and start punching him in the stomach so we're sort of double teaming. I was trying to take the dudes wallet at the same time. But, it was really fucking weird getting my ass kicked in a Wal Mart kids aisle.

The dude ends up stumbling out and we're just shocked and we started to laugh because it was just so weird that someone would beat your ass over cigarettes. Unfortunately the dude end up bailing and the cops couldn't find him. I doubt they will, but I'm not REALLY bothered by it.

I dunno man, has this ever happened to you guys? I mean we all get in fights but has it ever been over a really WEIRD and utterly trivial thing? I just have weird luck people love to approach me for some reason.

did you really say "go suck a row of dicks" or was it something else

why were you trying to get his wallet

Well dude, if I'm going to get my ass kicked I might as well try to rob his ass. Ase, yeah dude I don't know, I thought it sounded good at the time : (

Welcome to America mother fucker

Welcome to America mother fucker

Wow...  I work at a Wal-Mart, and I have never seen anything like this.  Then again most of the problem we have are jerks that have an employee bag up fish, and then leaving them in the freezer.  (you know, the pet fish)

The worst thing we had was a bomb threat, which an ex-employee called in to scare away the customers so he could come in and shoot up the place, and I was supposed to work that day too...

Never had any fights that went beyond getting verbally abused.

Also, Welcome to America Mother Fucker

go climb a wall of dicks would have been better

Really? If some dickhead came up and tried to beat my ass for some trivial reason, I'd do whatever I could to make him regret his decision (AKA steal his wallet). You guys act like you wouldn't but you would. You'd jump at the chance, all of you.


PS: Welcome to America mother fucker

not at all.  beating the shit out of someone is a misdemeanor and even if they press charges the judge will probably throw the case out if both of you fought over bullshit and you'll pay maybe a 50$ court fine or something.

robbing someone?  yeah, that's a whole new can of beans.  if you have something on you that's classified as a weapon (hell, a pocket knife or even a pencil or screwdriver if you live in a particularly liberal state) you can get charged with armed assault.

no one has tried to fight me randomly because i'm about as wide as i am tall but yeah i'd probably bust your lip fast TFT ON PRINCIPLE because you describe yourself as a hipster.  i also have a concealed weapon permit so if shit goes down...

there was this one time some iranian guy i used to work with in a pizza shop during my highschool days fought me.  the dude was half my sized and he comes charging in the kitchen like a mad bull.  i wanted him to hit me first so i just stuck my nose out.  he punched me right in the eye (weak ass shot didn't even bruise) and i wailed on his ass.  10 seconds and he was out cold.

lucky for me the fryer wasn't on because i seriously had thoughts about dunking his head in there.  had the fight happened earlier that day you guys would never know me.

happy birthday mog

I bet the guy came from this forum and was seeking revenge over something you did once in the past... making fun of his game etc.

We should make summaries of threads in smiley form more often