please someone film this scene the dialogue is amazing

"welcome to america, mother fucker"
"GO SUCK A ROW OF DICKS"

Other way around, Velfarre.

it was more supposed to be a list but yeah it did go the other way

although films are never like the original so in the film version two dudes are staring at each other and one pulls out a gun and goes "Welcome to America, mother fucker" and shoots, but TFT catches the bullet in his teeth and spits it out, then looks at him grinning.  TFT quietly says "go suck a row of dicks" and swings his leg up to kick the other dude's head, as you get a short glimpse of the guy's horrified face as he realizes he messed with the wrong hipster

your brother gets cut out of the film to the dismay of everyone

I reckon you would only say "Welcome to America" if you were racist and beating up a foreigner liar liar pants on fire 

This is like the time you got your ass kicked by a girl in middle school and told a story about it in health class for a passing grade.

What the hell? Would that mean any school student who gets in a fight would be chargable with armed assault? That's just bullshit

If you pull it out of your pocket and wield it or threaten them with it then yeah.  I know it sounds stupid but columbine has basically made every judge in the country crack down on violence involving youngsters.  If someone is willing to press charges and their lawyer is good enough they can pretty much throw the book at you. 

But America isn't the only country like this.  In Turkey robbery is a pretty light crime equal to maybe a day in jail and a fine but bringing a weapon, even having a weapon on you during a mugging or robbery, and you'll be tossed in jail with the key thrown away.  It's kind of weird imagining someone walking into a convenience store, pointing their finger at you and saying "gimme all your cash" but if the same guy threatens you with anything considered a weapon that's hard time right there.

you should have caught his hand and flicked your wrist upwards, flipping him sideways

If I was there I would've helped you get his money, I'd get half of course.

TFT doesnt have an ass -fact

I don't get in fights very often but I almost kicked a 50 something year old man's ass the other day for ratting me out and telling the bartender I'm underage when I tried to by my shipmate a drink and then the motherfucker had the nerve to try to give me some of another guy's pitcher right infront of the bartender.

Luckily I didn't know that he ratted me out until the next day when someone told me about it or I would have knocked his fat ass right off of the stool he was sitting on.

But I don't think you got your ASS BEAT TFT, you just got sucker punched. I think the other dude got his ass beat since you two were double teaming him.

I also found out today that one of the dudes that works at this school is a special Olympic weightlifting gold medalist and now I want to have a boxing match because it would be pretty funny (he would kick my ass pretty bad). The guy is hilarious and cool as shit but he's got down syndrome so I think if I ask him an algebra problem or something in the middle of the fight and sucker punch the shit out of him I might win.

I don't get in fights very often but I almost kicked a 50 something year old man's ass the other day for ratting me out and telling the bartender I'm underage when I tried to by my shipmate a drink and then the motherfucker had the nerve to try to give me some of another guy's pitcher right infront of the bartender.

there should be a law that sailors drink at any age.  the open sea and beer go together and anyone who thinks otherwise isn't american!

you should have caught his hand and flicked your wrist upwards, flipping him sideways

hahaha holy shit i'd forgotten this

Harry Manback: But you weren't really gonna go through with kicking his ass, were you?

Actually I've been waiting for the past two days for him to say anything to me at all, friendly or not to fucking snap on him. The guy is a rotten piece of shit, one of the vilest people I've ever met in my entire life and I think I'd be doing anyone who has ever met him a favor for punching his dentures in.

But, like I said I don't like fighting and he's yet to say anything to me. I've known the guy for like two years (not around him willingly) and he seriously makes me sick to my stomach when I'm anywhere near him.

Thats how much I want to beat his ass but I'm going to try to refrain from doing it because

1) I'll get kicked out of school and I'll have to wait a month to come back
2) He's old and fat and it would be pretty sad

there should be a law that sailors drink at any age.  the open sea and beer go together and anyone who thinks otherwise isn't american!

I know and I usually do, the bartender told me that too but the fat fuck would've probably have gotten her fired so I just left.