I'm just a nerve away from slapping the shit out of my roommate.  I have a nice guitar that he plays on all the time, which I don't mind.  I don't play.  He sucks at it but whatever.  What irritates me is how just now I walked into the living room and he has it completely dissembled and he's acting like he knows something about electronics.  He didn't ask.  He just took apart my guitar.  Not only that but the dumb shit didn't even take the strings off first before he started fucking with the guts of it.  It's an electric.  Anyways, now he's trying to put it back together the hard as fuck way by trying to squeeze the face plate and all that shit under the strings.  What a fucking moranus.  He's all bitchin' about these springs he can't get to stay in place, when it'd be a walk in the park if the strings weren't in the way. 

     Just the other day he hit the reset button on our router because his internet didn't work.... now it REALLY doesn't work.  He had no idea what the reset button did, he just pressed it thinking it'd work.  I had to reconfigure all the settings and everything.  Complete idiot, and he's the one in college.  He also has a thing for putting dirty shit in the dish rack that is supposed to stay clean... sponges right in the silverware compartment.  That's disgusting.

     Anyways, does anyone else have dipshit roommates?  What kinds of things do they do that just irritate the shit out of you?  And if you have any stories of people insisting on doing things the hard way, or people who try to do things they have no business doing because they don't really know how, even though they act like they do, feel free to share them here.

You know, my first year of college I had this stoner roomate and this really nerdy dude. It was awkward because the nerdy guy never really addressed us. I mean, we would just turn the place into a real dump and he would always clean it up. Nice dude. Aside from that, I never had a bad roomate. He wasn't bad, just awkward.

I sort of make it a point to move in with people I'm seeing, so life is easier and cheaper that way. Seriously, moving in with dudes is a real pain. And a sausagefest.

man my roommate situation for this school year sucks so much

my roommate that I'd been planning to live with for 2 years now bailed on me and I got stuck in a quad with 3 bros. its going to be sweet. no privacy or security for my computer because of the room set up and oh I get to live with 3 people instead of 1. its going to be great.

my roomate is pretty great he's never here and when he is he listens to awesome ambient stuff

Last semester I had a really tall lesbian athlete roommate who had laundry covering at least 50% of our 12x12 dorm.  Considering the rest of that space was mostly furniture, that meant constantly being around her laundry.  I could never tell her to do anything about it because she was never in the room and I had no way of contacting her.  One time in the middle of the night (like 2 AM) she brought in two guys and let them sleep on our floor.  They absolutely REEKED of pot, which I think smells nasty as hell.  She didn't think I might want to have a say in any of that.  She also thought that two feet from where I was trying to do homework was the perfect place to watch TV and make out really loudly with her girlfriend the ONE TIME she was actually in the room.  When I would walk in the room the laundry smell was so bad I almost threw up once.  There was nothing to do about it though because seriously, I NEVER saw her.

Now I have a room by myself and it kicks ass, dudes.

was she hot 

I've had roommates that used my computer to look at porn.  I wouldn't have been too pissed about it, only they have no idea how to look at porn.  They click on any ad that looks interesting to them, and as a result my machine was constantly under attack by trojans and other nasty things.  But that was years ago so...

My brother-in-law has a similar mentality when it comes to electronics.  Actually, anything he doesn't know about, really.  He is easily intimidated, and tries to hard to make people like him.  As a result, if I say something about, say, electronics, which he knows nothing about.  He feels the need to prove that he is just as knowledgeable and attempts to give his input, which more often than not makes no sense, and is usually pulled directly from his ass.  Example:

Me:
"Woo!  Fallout 3 comes out next month, I can't wait!"

Him:
"Oh that game?  I heard it sucks."

Me:
"Really?  Interesting.  Where did you get such insightful information?"

Him:
"I heard it from a guy."

 

Velfarre, are you sure you aren't the lesbian roommate projecting your self-disgust onto another person? maybe an imaginary friend?

I am thinking this because I heard that they didn't allow guys and girls to share dorms across the pond...

When I was at my training college, I lived in a house with 8 other guys. For a while I had my own room, but then the new college year started so I got a new guy in my room. He was a Shetlander (you know, those tiny little islands north of Scotland).

Anyway, first day I got back from a weekend trip home he was in the bedroom, sleeping. I thought fair enough, the guy is probably pretty tired.

Next night I walk in after college and he wasn't there. My guess was he went for a night out to get used to Aberdeen city.

Anyway, he stumbles in wasted out of his mind at like 3am (doesn't bother me because I always used to do the same) and the next day I wake up and he is CRYING.

I... introduce myself and he's like "OH GOD, I SPENT £600 AT A STRIP CLUB LAST NIGHT..."

That's when I began to think "... what the hell kind of person am I sharing a room with."

That was his weak point, strip clubs. In the end I couldn't have asked for a better roommate and I still talk to him even after all this time, I sold my Wii to him and he's generally a cool guy. But get a drink down his neck and it's "GUYS LETS GO TO THE STRIP CLUB" and he ends up spending RIDICULOUS amounts of money everytime.

It worried me a bit initially, however. He ended up being a better drunkard than some of my other housemates who thought it was funny to jump on people and throw peanuts at people who were sleeping, at about 4am. It was funny, and everyone got their own back at some point.

was she hot 

she is like 6 feet tall and looks pretty masculine so

no

and

Velfarre, are you sure you aren't the lesbian roommate projecting your self-disgust onto another person? maybe an imaginary friend?

no

edit: and if the second part was about her letting those guys sleep in our floor, they definitely WEREN'T allowed to be there...guys are allowed to be in our dorms but they have to be out by like midnight and this was about 2 or 3 in the morning

never had a roommate, what do I win?

No, esp had the best roommate story, he wins. Thanks to everyone else who participated though.

she is like 6 feet tall and looks pretty masculine so

no

wait if she looked more like a girl would it be better

esp your roommate sounds fantastic, mostly because SCOTLAND and STRIPCLUB ADDICTION sounds like a recipe for disaster fun. I mean if you had to be addicted to anything, stripclubs sound like the thing to go for.

I once moved in with these three girls and instead of being "meeting their sexy friends" there were all sorts of wierd smells and there was hair everywhere. It would have been more tolerable if they were good looking but to be honest only one of them was really pokeworthy.

edit: and if the second part was about her letting those guys sleep in our floor, they definitely WEREN'T allowed to be there...guys are allowed to be in our dorms but they have to be out by like midnight and this was about 2 or 3 in the morning

What the hell kind of college do you go to?

wait if she looked more like a girl would it be better

the question was "is she hot" so uh yeah that would help