in Norway we have a saying:

"Kjærleiken kommer med sengevarmen."

I used to be sociophobic. Now I have more friends than pubic hairs: both online and offline.

Before you start trying to make friends and be social, find something you like about yourself and learn to be comfortable as yourself around others, despite not having a job or money. When people see you are in tune with yourself, they will feel comfortable around you and you'll have no problems making and keeping friends. You also can't be afraid to put yourself out there. Say "Hey this is me. Whether you like it or not."

I guarantee you won't be rejected by EVERYONE, and if some people do reject you, then they aren't needed in the first place.

What you look like also doesn't matter. Looks and genetics and even wealth do no determine a person. Personality, goals, views, lifelong dreams, and other internal workings are what makes someone stand out and easy to befriend. There are plenty of people online that I cosider best friends whom I have known for over 6 years and never seen their faces. It simply does not matter on the level of friendship or being able to make and keep trusted friends.

Believe me. There is something likable about every human, no matter how vile they seem to some. What you see is a clash of prsonal views and opinions or a bad case of less-than-moral upbringing (especially when opinions of others are based on skin colour).

So my advice is to find something about yourself that makes you unique that you can truely say 'This is me.' Then find others who appreciate people for their value in friendship and loyalty, not in appearances, wealth, or social status. Butin order for others to love you, you must love yourself first.

That's about all I have to say!

Yeah but Steel it sounded like his problem is mostly about being afraid of seeing someone he knows.  It'd be hard to go get your mail because you'd be out where it's possible people who know you will see you (i.e. your neighbors).

So on that note, can you explain what your exact situation is?  Is it JUST being afraid of seeing people you know, or is it just a general fear.  Because man it sounded like you were just afraid of disappointing people that know you.

If that's the problem, it still stands that it shouldn't be a concern: If you can't be yourself an present who you are, even in disappointments, to those you consider friends without being concerned they will judge you, then you need to evaluate if they are true friends or not. True friends will accept you regaurdless of mistakes or flaws, and most likely will aid you in getting back on your feet and finding yourself again to where you are comfortable. Heck, I know that if one of my friends were poor I'd be giving them the shirt off of my back and striving to find them a job. Sometimes we just can't do it on our own, and that is what friends are for: to lift each other up in weak times of doubt and depression. You have to learn who your real friends are and learn that your supporting them will be equally returned have you ever a need for their strength in your error.

If you don't have this kind of friends, you need to explain how you feel to the ones you believe that may or my not have that level of friendship with you. Explain to them how you feel and be very open. True friends may already notice that you are uncofortable and ask you point blank. If they do not get the clue, you have to come out with it yourself and not be afraid. They are your FRIENDS. I'mnot saying USE them, but acknowlege them for what they are and act that way towards them. Friends will be concerned. Friends will want to help.

Sometimes you just have to take that initiative nd lay it all on the table.

ive known a couple of rich kids like that (i never had money for weed)

Did any of your parents have an alcohol problem?  I'm sorry if that seems irrelevent, but I'm curious now.

also more interesting imho: do you dudes really dish out free weed to make friends?

i don't smoke with strangers so no

EDIT: sounds weirdthat way. i think it's better to know what someone's like straight before you try to take them on high.