aaaaaaahhhhh nooo there isn't a twilight dildo that's not trupe your'e lyeing ahhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh ahhhhh

(please correct me if i'm wrong i am terrified now)

yes there is a twilight dildo but like i said i really find this to be creepier

i'd rather think that some person old enough to be buying dildos is doing so than some 10 year old wanting a guy watch her sleep

edit: though if you have a promiscuous teen that's into twilight maybe you could buy this and under where it says "be safe" add in another decal that says "use a condom"

edit: though if you have a promiscuous teen that's into twilight maybe you could buy this and under where it says "be safe" add in another decal that says "use a condom"

Nah, if she's a twilight fan she is probably waiting the "right time" with her violent and possessive boyfriend before getting knocked-up.

at my old place i had an edward poster in my room. i did feel safer

combined with everything else my room was very girly

Read the comments on this: http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Product_Code=VAMP&Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD

NSFW, it's an online sex shop.

oh god the comments

OMG I love the vamp I glued a bunch of hair from my moms wigs onto it and pretended it's Jacob :] GO VAMP!

....jacob's not a vampire....

But I am being 100% truthful when I say this changed my life.

aaa this person is the grossest, she also refers to her and this dildo as WE

ahhhh oh no ahhhh

OMG I love the vamp I glued a bunch of hair from my moms wigs onto it and pretended it's Jacob :] GO VAMP!

it's bad enough that the dildo is real this makes it even worse ahhhh eeew eeew ahhhhh. i think it's creepier than the whole be safe silhouette because they're not rubbing their vaginas over it unless...it...unless... ahhhhhhhh nooooo

i'm more grossed out with the silhouette just because at least these weirdos are adults (unless 12 year olds order dildos now idk!!!), but the idea that some little girl wants a full grown vampire dude watching her sleep grosses me out more

i really like that there's a dildo called "john doe" in the same store. just a regular dick! no cumbersome bells and whistles. SOLID.... MADE IN USA. durable and built to last. now you can "do it" with the computer technican or tile grout salesman of your dreams. "just plain, please!". order today. it's like those porn moives featuring SEXY SECRETARIES or SEXY REAL-ESTATE AGENTS.

i really like that there's a dildo called "john doe" in the same store. just a regular dick! no cumbersome bells and whistles. SOLID.... MADE IN USA. durable and built to last. now you can "do it" with the computer technican or tile grout salesman of your dreams. "just plain, please!". order today. it's like those porn moives featuring SEXY SECRETARIES or SEXY REAL-ESTATE AGENTS.

yeah i laughed at that JOHN DOE

@catamites That dildo description actually sounds like the narrative from one of your AGS games when you click on an interesting object in a room.

@catamites That dildo description actually sounds like the narrative from one of your AGS games when you click on an interesting object in a room.

i think 78641 has cornered the market on dick descriptions! i like the idea of a game where all the item descriptions would be advertisements though, like one of those horrible adgames they give away at burger king or wherever. RONALD MCDONALD PRESENTS KING BURGER IN QUEST FOR THE MISSING BUNS press z to fire ketchup gun press x to spray meat at opponent. and you could maybe do it out of old fastfood leftovers and stuff like have the hero be an actual cold greasy burger with googly eyes on that quivers as is slides across the table and all the levels are just doused in rancid mustard and mayonaisse and gross pickle things so that every action you take sprays this repulsive goo in all directions and makes it fart out of condiment packets. and the sidequests would be leading the chipateers and fun-buns into the consumers mouth and you see a cutscene of this giant fat dude grinding beef patties smeared with mustard into his mouth five at a time blarrgh blurhg bluuarghh.

I finally saw Oldboy for the first time.  It cracked me up.

I had a night of childlessness so I took myself to see Daybreakers, a semi-futuristic vampire sci-fi examination of greed and I have to admit that I enjoyed it. Ethan Hawke is a hematologist vampire dude in a messed up future where almost everyone is a vampire. Sam Neill is the bad guy (and he does it well, despite the fact that he doesn't get nearly enough screen time) and Willem Dafoe plays a guy named Elvis who serves as comic relief. Basically, the plot revolves around the idea that the vampires of the world are starving, so something must be done to fix the problem. I quite like how the vampires were portrayed they didn't fucking sparkle, which made me ridiculously happy and the way the issue of hunger was presented was very relatable. Overall, it was worth the trip to the theatre.

Everyone seems to like inglorious bastards I thought it was really fucking boring

That's my fave Tarantino movie but when I say this I get drowned out by people going "BUT PULP FICTION LOL!2"

That's why I am planning to systematically exterminate you all.

reservoir dogs is better than pulp fiction imo