watched "Cobra" starring Sylvester Stallone and based upon a screenplay by Sylvester Stallone. I watched it because I have zero respect for art or humanity as a whole. "No Future".
The film "Cobra" is about the titular "Cobra" as played by Sylvester Stallone, "Cobra" is a police man called in for the most dangerous situations. He has a little picture of a cobra embossed on the handle of his gun although whether this was the result or origin of his nickname remains unclear. The hobbies of "Cobra" include cleaning guns, shooting guns, humiliating hispanics and washing his import sportscar atop a roof at night while 80s saxophone music plays. In an opening scene where he is called in to dispatch a crazed shotgun killer in a supermarket, he pauses while sneaking in to take a sip of refreshing Coors Beer from a nearby display case. The label of the beer is pretty clearly displayed. After wasting the perp he is confronted by wussy liberal media types who tell him that all citizens have rights. "Cobra" is so upset by this that he flings one of the reporters on top of a victim's corpse. He actually says "Rights?" in a truly disgusted tone of voice just before he hurls the terrified reporter. He has a portrait of Ronald Reagan in his office which I think is actually the same one from chef's twitter avatar.
The enemies in "Cobra" are a pack of dangerous psycho killers. Their hobbies include cutting up women, sharpening knives in darkened rooms, staring wildly into the middle distance at all times and grunting or making general bestial noises. There are also repeated scenes of these killers gathering in an abandoned warehouse to rhythmically bang axes together. Each killer holds a fireaxe in each hand and clashes them together in unison. They do it over and over without anyone talking. It's never really gone into but this scene is used repeatedly throughout the film, typically intercut with scenes of "Cobra" doing his thing.
Some of the psychos have special personalities eg there is a "Sniper" guy who uses a sniper rifle, a "Knife" guy who enjoys knives and only kills people with knives, and a butch woman who is idk just generally deviant I guess. But most of the killers just get shot immediately and are not really distinguishable from one another. The knife guy has a special knife with spikes on the handle and a curved blade. It looks like something sold for $29.95 in the back of a magazine about dragons.
The plot of the psychos is to kill people. They just go around killing people at random and causing havoc. They kill people one at a time and pretend it's the work of a single person. Only "Cobra" suspects the truth. They are witnessed in the act of killing by a young supermodel lady who is immediately distinguishable as a potential love interest owing to the fact that special attention is taken in the film to point out she disapproves both of drugs and of casual sex. For some reason the psycho league are really intent on killing her!! considering that everyone in the group is more or less willing to sacrifice themselves and as they have no stronger motives than that of killing random passersby in the streets. But they don't know "Cobra" is on the case. Well, I guess they do eventually because they send two people to kill him and he shoots them both in his apartment. But that's never mentioned again, even when he's trying to persuade the fatcats in police force management that there's more than one killer. All the fatcats want to talk about is departmental budget. They don't like "Cobra"s tactics and make sure to say so! This film resembles a jRPG in that each character is very careful to lay out their current concerns and motivations explicitly as often as possible.
There's a scene where "Cobra" and the supermodel are on the run into the countryside. She asks if there's anything they can do to stop these Freaks and Crazies from getting out onto the streets:
"There's all these crazy people everywhere. Why can't the police just put them away and keep them away?"
"Cobra" tells her that the judicial system immediately lets such people back out onto the streets. She says it's "sick". They both look pretty disgusted about this.
The final fight between all the dudes takes place in an industrual metalwork factory. "Cobra" sets the sniper guy on fire with a bucket of gasoline and says "You have the right to remain silent" just before tossing the match. Then he impales the knife guy on a hook and pushes him into some welding flames. After this he punches the captain who was giving him a hard time and then he drives off on a motorcycle to some New Romantic music and that's the movie!!
Hey dirtbag, you're a lousy shot. I don't like lousy shots. You wasted a kid... for nothing. Now I think it's time to waste you!
I would say it was pretty thoroughly heinous and I think less of myself for watching it. I guess it was kind of fascinating in the same way as that one General Hospital Guerilla Base Infiltration arc in terms of seeming retroactively like a perfect distillation of Reaganism or something, but that's something I have no real experience in anyway. I think earlchip once mentioned wanting to hear how I still vaguely picture America and I think it would be a sort of cross between this movie (or equivalent), Earthbound optimism, the first New York Dolls album and "Ghost Rider" by Suicide. Well, that's my post.
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Last movie you watched?