Emo Twilight (Read 3552 times)

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Twilight

Has anyone seen this movie? Perhaps the worst movie of last year?
The acting was a void bridging seemingly forgotten lines, shivering lips, and rapist staring eyes (the vampire dude). Yeah, I saw Twilight. Dragged you might say, by a gaggle of girls, and a hint of curiosity. It couldn't be as bad as I thought, could it? Yeah, it uh... was worse. Not just a boring first half leading me to believe this is a mystery story; but an action-filled last half that slapped my expectations in the face.
The vampires had special traits; which was like the only cool thing. Because it reminded me of a video game. Uhm, Legacy of Kain. Obviously, this is not LoK; it's kiddy to hell. And perverse to boot. This 17-year-old-looking-actually-really-damn-old vampire falling in love and stalking (breaking into her room and watching her sleep for fuck sakes) with a 17 year old girl. Pedophil- hey but there's a vampire who's good at tracking, and someone who can read the future. Uh, no Dudesoft, that's just not good enough. I couldn't get over how hideous this movie was. The whole time watching it, my mind was so repulsed that people around me were ENJOYING it. There were timely laughs and applause. People were enjoying this film. It was worse than Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.
Another thing that was odd, but I suppose to be expected, was that little kids were brought out to see this flick. While .

There was a tiny flicker of enjoyment to be had from this film. See, when I got to my parent's home (visiting my parents when I saw this) my folks asked how it was. I said obediantly, "oh, it was awesome! Yeah, the vampires were cool, and just like everything!" and they sighed relief as they had apparently already bought tickets for that same night!
Not an hour later after leaving, they came back; having walked out on it. :)
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The only thing good that came out of this is youtube videos of people defending the movie. hhaahahh.


v:and fan girls
Last Edit: January 05, 2009, 06:53:44 pm by aztec
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does anything happen in that video mark because i wont watch 9 minutes of a stupid fat girl cumming on herself over twilight
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AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Man I feel like a bad person but listening to her doing Darth Vader impression at 30
and then squealing like a pig at 52 just made my year. This is seriously the best thing
I've seen for a long time.
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I thought that the movie was really really funny. So did three of the people I was with.  The last one was mad at us for laughing throughout the entire movie :(
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im pretty sure she was just playing it up... like.. a lot

1.33 = hilarious either way.
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ohhh bugger
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There are lots of twilight trailer reaction vids... I guess it's the new 2 girls 1 cup
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Oh my god Mark oh my god

Jesus christ that video
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http://www.twilightmoms.com/
heh

Yeah Twilight has consumed my peers it is awful. I try to reason with them but they keep telling me there is "more to the story".
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ahaha none of these people are remotely memorable except for maybe SECOND BLACK GUY ON HOUSE?
DEUCE: MEETING THE URINE UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL AND REALIZING IT'S JUST LIKE ME AND MY PREJUDICES  THIS WHOLE TIME WERE COMPLETELY FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF PTTTTHTHTHH GOD IT'S EVERYWHERE<br />DEUCE: FUCK THIS TASTES LIKE PISS<br />PANTS: WHERE IT SHOULD TASTE LIKE COTTON CANDY OR PICKLES<br />DEUCE: OR AT LEAST LIKE URINE NOT PISS
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god i know a girl that hates santa because she didn't bring her a passionate vampire like edward
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There's this one youtube video with a red haired girl talking about the movie and how she spent $30 buying the hard cover book and she doesn't even read.

"All you haters and everyone that  um hates twilight, that's your opinion.  You suck.  omg you suck so much."

something like that.
Last Edit: January 06, 2009, 01:02:21 am by aztec
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Maaaaan I didn't know what to expect by starting this... that video Mark... It was so funny and horrible at the same time that I couldn't finish. :( I didn't know it was this bad. This is terrible people. How can we fix this? How can we save these teens from Twilight?
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the thing that makes twilight so fucking bad is that it could actually have had a small amount of potential if the author wasn't writing down her retarded wet dream

like imagine if you were a girl that fell in love with a real vampire. like, say, an anne rice vampire. one that actually sucks human blood and can die in sunlight. and then you have to fight your one true love to the death...or undeath... this sounds pretty shitty and generic but it's at least 1000 times better than the teeny bopper twilight shit. VAGETERIAN VAMPIRS

yeah fuck that book and fuck this movie even more. i hear the actor fo r the lead vampire hates his role and the book and wants out
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yeah fuck that book and fuck this movie even more. i hear the actor fo r the lead vampire hates his role and the book and wants out

Haha, maybe that's why he always looked so venomous in the film. Seriously, if you ever murder your eyes and watch it, that guy's character is always glaring. It was like about how he wanted to suck her blood or whatever, but like, he looked really pissed and creepy 95% of the time. Now it makes sense! :fogetmmh:
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My two sisters, aged 14 and 18, seemed to enjoy the books so I thought hey, what could it hurt? I read all four books and I wound up having to keep earplugs in my ears because the angsty teenage crap was causing my gray matter to melt and I feared it would leak out through my ear canals. I figured we could go see this movie and get some sort of entertainment out of it so off we went.

Good vampire suspense movie + Sesame Street +emo-goth teenage drama = Twilight. Seriously. I wanted to cry at how horribly cheesy it was but, considering the source material, what else could I have asked for? I enjoy laughing at movies that are deliberately funny, but laughing at movies that take themselves way too seriously just makes me feel depressed. Perhaps if the lead characters had broken out into song and dance. . . Nope, not even that would have made me laugh.

Also, what the hell kind of vampire
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ahaha, at 3:20 on mark's video she's like "AHH! THE MEADOW" and it sounds like she seriously died inside of happiness

hahahahaha holy shit. that is the best/worst video I've seen in sooooooo long
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I cant stand this movie and just don’t understand why its so popular especially amongst the young ladies, I just don’t get it... there are some great vampire movies out there and Twilight doesn’t even come close, I can normally enjoy most movies but this one was just terrible.

One of the worst things about this movie for me was

p.s. That video from mark off the Twilight fan girl made me laugh.. alot, see I just dont get it.
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