It's always interesting to me that even reasonable complaints (like no music anywhere) are kind of hard to make because they obviously serve a purpose. It makes the boss music more meaningful because you never hear music. It makes the music in Firelink meaningful because no area has music. It makes the final battle (you haven't got there yet I guess but the final battle music is very nice, I'm going to learn it eventually on piano (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJQUEtSRLEE)) have a very distinct feel to it. I agree that I would like more music (because all the music they do have is great) but at the same time, I like the effect no music creates.
One thing about heavy ass armor is the poise rating. If you have crazy high poise you don't get interrupted or pushed back at all. Putting on Havel's armor for the Four Kings boss fight (you said you lowered the water in New Londo, did you fight the Four Kings?) makes it an easy tank-and-spank because you can absorb their hits easily and not get interrupted or tossed around. Same as having a high-stability shield, you can absorb hits easier and they can be used strategically for certain bosses/enemies.
Also on the subject of the reputation: I kind of hate how everyone just said HARDEST GAME EVER. It's hard, sure, but not THAT hard. It's more precise and unforgiving than hard. Once you figure out that you have to pay attention and you can't just force any reckless playstyle it becomes a lot easier, and more a test of your patience and awareness than anything.
Although the best aspect is that it's completely skill-based. You can be completely naked at soul level 1 with a shitty club and plank shield, and you can still beat the game. Likewise you can be wearing the strongest armor, have the best weapon and shield, and still get killed by the earliest enemies in the game.
I've not been that hardcore yet, but most of my characters I purposefully wear whatever I want or experiment with all kinds of weapons and upgrade paths just to see if I can do it. With enough time you can learn to use anything. I just don't like that it feels like I'm gimping myself when I do that. It's fun, sure, but there should be more or different drawing points to experimenting aside from "well I can already beat the game let me handicap myself".
Still, it's my favorite game ever. I just started Darkmoon PVPing yesterday. I dont' like being a dick and ruining people's games (Darkwraiths), and when you die in an invasion you don't lose your souls/humanity, so it's like a no-risk PvP. Yesterday I ended up fighting the same 3 or 4 times, and it was always a fair duel, except the last time I nearly killed him twice but he drank from his flask. Annoying.