i have pleurisey(sp[elling) yet am still smoking, and have just gotten back from a night out drinking.
essentially it's like a LUNG DISEASE where the lining of the lung becomes inflammed, and breathing is PAINFUL and doing ANYTHING is shear agony. I smoke, however due to the seripous anti-psychotics I am on, if i stop smoking, i become a zombie(i know from experience) ad so I am literally potentially killing myself (9pluerasssy is quite serious, Karl Marx died from it, which is coolness factor+10000, infact I kinda hope it kills me, so when I am dead and in the magic place in the sky where all transformers live I can brag about dying of the same illness as Karl Marx! also the drugs they give me for it DO NOT WORK, perhaps due to my many adventures overdosing on painkillers and shit, where I have built up quite an immunity!!!Now they want to try me on an opiate, I forget it's name), but yeah I am doing myself serious harm so that mentally I am in the state here I can work, and pass my degree. Like, everything i do fails but I am a few months away from having a Fine Art degree, so I want to pass even if it kills me, which it may. AND NOW the mental hospital want to take MORE time away from my uni time, at such a CRITICAL moment (we have about 5 working weeks left at uni) to do some kinda relaxation therapy on me. I know it wont work, my counsellor at uni knows it wont work, my GP doesn't think it will work, but I have to go. I'm classed as high risk(I have to see my doctor every two weeks to get my pills, as I am not trusted with having a higher amount, which... is understandable) and if I don't follow through with their proceedures, they will send guys after me, and I will be made to be 'volunteraly' put inside for half a year (bnasically, I will get 'volunteraly' sectioned if I fuck up EVEN ONCE!, and like if you get sectioned then you can't do anything. USA wont even let you visit if you'v been sectioned. y'know, it's where you spend half a year inside a hiospital, and they control or watch over EVERYTHING YOU DO. One of my friends, wasn't even allowed to be in a room on her own, ever, for six whole months, and was heavily tranq'd the whole time. NO WONDER SHE DID HEROIN WHEN SHE CAME OUT!!?? )
Man, I need a girlfriend, and jizzing for random chicks on webcam isn;t doing it for me anymore :X