This only brings up the issue of extremely short lived media, like commercials, where every character is there just to sell whatever. Meaning they will all have the same level of depth as a person as a cardboard cutout. And since the idea of "Sex Sells" (which from what I've read isn't actually true) is everywhere and yeah, culturally people perceive women as more 'sexy' Objectification in this area will probably never go away, so the only way to make it as least a gender-equal shitty thing, one could argue for the objectification of men to become a norm, at least in that context. Just an example of what I imagine would be hard to avoid objectification entirely.
It's hard for you to imagine ads without objectification (particularly of women) because it's so widespread. However, it's pretty self-defeating to say "well, we can't change it so I guess we should just objectify men too to make it fair". That doesn't fix anything, that would still leave women being objectified. You need to think on a bigger scale. The big thing here is that you can't
just fix the symptoms of oppression. You have to start changing the way people think. The more people who embrace feminism and realize that objectifying women isn't cool, the more companies start getting backlash and the less they'll be willing to do it in their ads. There has been a LOT of controversy over ads in recent years. I'm not saying that it's going to be anytime soon, but I think ads are slowly going to be objectifying women less because it's becoming less acceptable. The Boston API Jam that posted a (PURELY TEXT) flyer that objectified women got enough backlash that sponsors pulled out and I believe the event was cancelled altogether. We're not quite there yet, but we are slowly getting to where it's not going to be financially viable to objectify women. Just trying to "settle" for objectifying men too is counterproductive.
It could also be argued that a very muscular women isn't considered generally considered attractive. Which probably has an effect.
This is what I was saying basically. But why aren't they "generally considered attractive"? Because look at the standard of beauty promoted in every single bit of media. Muscular women aren't there. It's incredibly skinny women with every single bulge or crease photoshopped out of them. This reinforces the idea that this is what is supposed to be attractive to men and that this is what a woman should strive towards. And god forbid you're a WoC, because as far as ads are concerned Beyonce isn't black anymore, she's photoshopped to a more acceptable "just slightly tan". We live in a world where the standard of beauty is decided for us before we're born. I remember us having an argument in #saltw about whether or not men generally found supermodels attractive, and the men who said they didn't were told they were just lying to be edgy or rebellious or whatever. In our patriarchy, men who don't immediately want to have sex with Barbie are considered less of a man. It's bad for everyone involved, but it hurts women far worse since they're the ones hurting their bodies to try to achieve a standard of beauty that these days isn't even physically possible due to photoshop.
As for the science being bullshit, I've read articles pushing either side of this argument. Some saying gender roles are part of our biology, some saying its just in our heads, some saying its a mixture of both. It's hard to identify what is true. It starts to all just sound like hearsay. I have no real concrete belief on the subject because of that.
Oh, there are tons of articles enforcing "biotruths". That doesn't mean they're valid. I'd like to see links to the articles you're talking about though. Like I said, the
vast majority of sociologists agree that it's a matter of socialization. You have to also consider that all the scientific research is being done in a patriarchal society to begin with (and done mostly by men (again because of the patriarchy (smash the patriarchy delete all sexism))) and it can at times be horribly biased.
IDK about that view of porn. Is porn that is made only for men inherently misogynistic? Where the focus is on the man's enjoyment? Sure, it isn't right that there is a lack of porn focused on the woman's enjoyment, but that doesn't mean focus on a man's enjoyment in porn is hateful of women.
There's nothing wrong with porn focusing on men in theory. The problem is...well, this:
Close up shot of woman (made to look as young as possible) gagging while being skullfucked. Dick is removed and then jizzes over woman's face, camera fades out while woman is swallowing.
cumdumpstersluts5 Anal eWRECKtion
Porn has always been male-gazey as fuck, but it's just gotten more and more disgusting. Go to any porn site and click on the pictures on the front page. Ask yourself--is this objectifying? Is this a harmful view of women? Chances are the answer is going to be "absolutely yes". It's just supporting the harmful views of women that men get everywhere else. I mean, think about the context porn exists in. We live in a society where women are not supposed to be sexual creatures, where they are not supposed to enjoy sex or seek sex out, merely exist for men to Do Sex to. That is what our society believes, whether you personally agree with it or not. So having porn in which women are literally just there to Be Fucked (aka almost all of straight mainstream porn) is just perpetuating those ideas, which is legitimately 100% oppressing women. It's not just a matter of it not being for me, it is
actually harmful. The problem is, it's so prevalent that even if you
don't want to watch that kind of porn, you'll have to spend a lot of time finding an alternative, especially for free.
Comes off as arguably utilitarian, since most porn viewers are men... Though I suppose that it's possible that might be just a cycle of reinforcement, perhaps there is very few women that watch porn because of the stigma and the lack of porn made for them, since there are fewer women, the porn makers continue their man oriented porn.
Depending on what survey you go by, 30-70% of women watch porn. Pretty big gap in those statistics, but you have to consider the patriarchal factors. Women may not admit to it on surveys, and like you said it's stigmatized. You have to consider what you're saying here though. The fact that it's stigmatized for women to watch porn is again a symptom of oppression, because they are not supposed to be sexual creatures. But what about women who do want to watch porn? They tend to have a harder time finding porn that doesn't horribly objectify them, so it is a roadblock. Like I said, there ARE feminist porn directors, but that tends to be pornography you have to pay for (which is why, as I'll talk more about in a minute, people may pay for porn). So what you're saying here is that it's understandable to continue objectifying women for the sake of men watching porn instead of embracing the women who want to? This is coming off as way too Straight Male Gamer-y (if you'll remember the SMG letter, it was about how games shouldn't add gay romance options because they'll alienate the Straight Male Gamer base, ignoring the fact that it's optional to go down these paths and that there are tons of gay gamers who would like the option). You're saying that because men are the majority in a system women are told to stay out of, they should be catered to. Catered to to the point that what they're being shown is actively harmful to women and oppressing them. I don't think so.
I don't think I watch main stream porn normally. But then I don't know what you can call mainstream porn since its all been moved to the internet and there is this thing about NOT paying for porn anymore. Like, who buys porn DVDS anymore? or even goes to pay sites? I've never payed for porn.
Anyway, Its bad that there is little porn that targets women as an audience. Its not bad that there is porn that target's men.
If you're watching porn on the internet and aren't sure if it's mainstream, it's mainstream. If you aren't digging down deep for obscure niche porn, you're watching mainstream porn. Mainstream doesn't mean commercial DVDs, in fact nowadays internet IS the mainstream if anything. As for paying for porn, like I said before there are a lot of good reasons why someone would want to. When mainstream porn is entirely excluding you, you may have to pay money for niche stuff (as I said in a previous post, for example, there's porn made for lesbians that's different than "lesbian porn" on regular sites, but it's usually paid only. Note here that gay male porn is very easily accessed online, because again, men are supposed to be sexual whereas men are not). Really, when you have niche porn, you typically can't just make up the money in ad revenue like mainstream porn. It's understandable. You say "I've never paid for porn", but stop and think about the fact that you're a man. Mainstream porn is catering to you.
And as unfortunate as it sounds, you describe mainstream porn as disgusting. Some men can't help but get off to the disgusting stuff. :/
So what? Some people can't help but get off to child porn, but that's harmful as fuck. Even if no children were harmed in the making of it (such as anime nudes of kids). It's reinforcing attitudes that are
directly and irrefutably hurting children, the same way mainstream porn is directly hurting women. Your right to jerk off to whatever you want is a lot less significant than my right to not be oppressed by what you're jerking off to.
Thing is though that women aren't really considered monolithic when it comes to their desires. Its more common to put men in to that idea. That all men want is sex and to be powerful/dominant. Which isn't true obviously. That in fact is where the typical "What do women want?" question comes from. Stereotypically, its men wanting women to be as stereotypically sex obsessed as men so its easier to get in bed with them. Its funny because it may very well be that women are just as interested but that culture has also made it clear that if you are a promiscuous women you are a slut or whore. Men have poisoned their own ability to get laid.
The idea behind the typical asking of "What do women want?" (in common media) is that if you know what a woman wants, its the key to whats in their pants. Its generally thought that almost every reasonably attractive woman already has the key into a man's pants. Existing. They just use that key very selectively. Men/women calling women sluts and whores is just reinforcing the selectivity.
Women
are considered monolithic when it comes to their desires by society. What do women want? To fall in love and get married and have kids. Try being a woman who says they don't want kids or don't want to get married and you'll find out that this is true. Of course, you're right that men do have a similar thing with the answer being "sex anytime and always", but don't dismiss the sexism on our side too in favor of your own issues. I do agree that there is an idea of women being monolithic in the sense of "how do I get them to let me fuck them" from men. That's why you have PUAs.
I've never called anyone a slut or whore and never will. Calling a woman a whore or slut is more damaging than calling them a bitch because it's telling women that being promiscuous is shameful. While calling them a bitch is telling them they shouldn't be aggressive. And I don't generally like aggressive people anyway because I'm kind of a wuss. (outside of movies and video game I guess, in which case, I'm 100% ok with women being aggressive, good example: Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica was one of my favorite characters). I've never called a woman a bitch either though.
Good, please continue never using those words, and please call other men out when they do. This is one of the main roles a man has as a feminist ally. If a man calls me a bitch and I call him out on it, chances are I'll just be called even more of a bitch for that. When someone is firmly rooted in misogyny (even if it's casual misogyny), they sometimes won't listen to women. That's where you need to come in. You have to understand though that even though you don't like aggressive people, typically women who are called bitches aren't being aggressive. They'll be called bitches simply for speaking up at all, or for being assertive (way different than aggression), or simply just for existing. Don't just equate that word with aggression. For some men, women are being aggressive (to them) if they do ANYTHING outside their gender role.
My older brother has (not to their face of course). Only in reference to women in porn or women that he had sex with little work put in. I'm unsure if he looked down on them for that.
Yes. He did. Even if only subconsciously, those words are a statement that express misogyny. It's probably not his fault, either. This is such a huge part of society that we have drilled into our brains from birth. It's hard to overcome that. Doesn't mean he shouldn't be expected to though.
Actually, would objectifying a male be more common as (or more likely, just stereotypical) to view them as human ATM machines? Rather than sexual objects. The "Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money" concept. It's certainly a shallow thing to base a relationship on, just as shallow as just wanting a fuck object.
How many relationships do you personally know that are based on money? The golddigger stereotype is pretty pervasive, but is it true? For the sake of argument, let's assume it is (although I absolutely don't think it represents any large percentage of women). Something you need to start doing when you examine the patriarchy is always ask "why". Don't just say "hey, some women only marry men for money! What about that?!" Why? Well, some women are told that this is the only way they can get ahead in life. They're never told ways THEY can be successful, they're told that their success lies in grabbing a successful man. I'll take any excuse to talk about The Facts of Life, but this scene is pretty relevant:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=aZYs23NllZc#t=229s (about 4 minutes in if it doesn't skip there automatically). Why is this joke funny? Because it's true. Because women are told this. To this day they're told this. Marry a good man instead of having a career. Is this sexism against men? Or is it sexism against women? It's a symptom of patriarchy that is telling women that they should not be in the workplace. How else are women supposed to gain power and money (which is something our capitalist society tells us is the most important thing)? Their only option is to "marry a good man".
But, as I said earlier and as you seem to believe also, this stereotype isn't prevalent anyway. Women aren't doing this in the numbers that are portrayed in media and popular culture. Now let's look at what you're comparing it to--the sexual objectification of women. Would you say that women aren't really objectified and that that's just a stereotype too? Based on my personal experience, I can tell you absolutely no. They
are objectified, every single day their entire lives. This is doing serious harm to women. The idea that women are supposed to be available for men's sexual gratification is what leads to things like harassment. Catcalling. Groping. And rape. This is why you need to quit looking for an analogue to men. You can't find a comparison. When you're the group in power, you're never going to have a convenient flipside to the issue. There
is no simple reverse that can apply to men, and there won't be in a patriarchy ever.