I can't stand Van Halen's music, which is a shame, because he was such an original and fun guitarist, and after learning parts of eruption (and later teaching some dude in a metal band that awesome tapping section), it's just like,poop. 80's hair metal sucks (unless it involves Steve vai).
Man, things suck right now, my is she/isn't she girlfriend's off to uni in four/five weeks, so we've gotta split. Yesterday I went to the funeral of a childhood friend (knew him since I was about 2, he died of a brain tumour), my credit card still hasn't been paid off (thanks to manic episodes resulting in buying lots and lots of records/lego/chocolate) and the only thing that's keeping me going right now is the vague hope that the demo I'm working on will be picked up by an independent lable like Riot Season. But even then, I'm unsure that my music is good enough, if not, I'll try and try again, all while living a crappy generic life in a crappy generic job, not able to leave my parent's house again. Serious crippling headaches and pains, and lack of awareness/concentration due to depression and stress, but my doctors know that if i don't keep myself busy with what I'm doing (working on my music when possible, working on my music blog, working exhausting shifts dealing with white van men) then I'll just fall apart, leaving me in a nasty situation where being in constant pain and not sleeping is actually better than the alternative. I regularly give to charity and shop in charity stores (varies from 1-10% of my wages), yet feel I'm not doing enough to help people. I always look out and help other people, but feel that the same doesn't happen to me, and when the lows kick in, it feels that it's all one massive conspiracy to keep me miserable, with everybody from my parents to david cameron, religious leaders to reincarnated dictators.
Over the next two or three years, I'm hoping to put enough money together to do a Masters Degree in something along the lines of art history, culture studies, music journalism. Something where I can write about Frank Zappa basically. I know I write to a high standard and enjoy tackling controversial/new ideas/subjects (my dissertation was about how monsters(demons, devils etc) in fine art represent male violent sexual desires, it was concidered ma/phd quality, and they liked the fact that it was a pretty new/original subject that hasn't really been gone into in depth before), but I don't know if anything will work out.
Sorry for the desperate rant, just sometimes I need to splurt shit out like an arsehole dolphin with a bad case of blue balls. Keep trucking and all that jazz.