I'm not sure I understand the joke here.

I know that Jeet Kune Do has gotten somewhat of a bad rep because of all the crap people are passing off as JKD on youtube, but I've found it extremely functional in my ten plus years as a student (and at one point instructor). Of course, one person's expression of Jeet Kune Do would be different then that of another - the whole "keep what works, disregard the rest" ethic allows this, so long as the end product still adheres to the principles of economy, efficiency, functionality and directness. (Which would seem to instantly disqualify a lot of the Filipino stick drills and chasing hands exercises that have become part of the "official" JKD rubric).

I've seen people who run their stance with the lead elbow held high enough to obscure their view of an opponent's legs and feet. That's just asking to get tagged or worse. I either run mine from the alternate ready position (not liking the full Bi Jong because I generally end up telegraphing when I have to roll that lead arm around - although it depends on the situation, because the deception of it sometimes plays really well in breaking an attacker's rhythm) or from a neutral sort of "open in all eight directions", which tends to confuse people because they don't know which side is lead or dominant.

Recently, a couple of people who have seen me either sparring or otherwise have assumed I was using Krav Maga. When done correctly, Jeet Kune Do is simultaneous attack and defense and not a ballet recital. A lot of people confuse what looks good on camera with what will keep you out of the hospital.

Martial arts were not an "oh look, flashy...I must do this" sort of thing for me. My study of various systems and styles, including Jeet Kune Do, is largely what has enabled me to remain ambulatory in the wake of a serious back injury when I was younger. Two different specialists wanted to fuse my back at the age of seventeen. When one of my physical therapists suggested martial arts to me as a way of taking my body back, I was sold.

I'm supposed to work out quite regularly. I have to keep the rest of my body strong enough to help keep me out of perpetual spasm. Weight lifting, endless crunch repetitions, running, all of that is boring and mindless as hell to me. But, taking it as part of something else, it becomes more palatable.

I've been able to protect people who I have cared about in the past because of it, both directly and indirectly. One of my students used what I taught her to disable an attacker and prevent herself from becoming part of a growing demographic, young women raped on college campuses.

Tell her that it is all just bullshit or muscle head crap and she'd be liable to suggest you roll up that illusory poster of Ong Bak and fuck yourself with it, pal.

I have a tremendous problem with authority, specifically with those below me trying to assert their dominion over me. I just will not stand it, I will not.

This leads me into where I got my username from. I was in a pub talking with the bartender, we get along pretty well because I'm in there so often. Anyway some punk kids come in, one of thems wearing glasses, and they order something and I ask Wally if I can have my usual (straight bourbon) and he gets it for me first. Now these other kids, they're fuming now and they begin to raise their voice at Wally, so I bagan to raise my fist. Now there must have been about 5 of them, I couldn't tell too well because it was dark and loud enough I couldn't easily detect how many there were.

I had planed on just warning them, that you don't talk that way to one of my friends, but immediately he started shouting at me, he yelled "this doesn't concern you you faggot," and the sinker was that he looked me up and down and smiled before turning back to Wally. I could feel my blood boil, but I was calm and collected. Before he had finished turning around I said "I'm not gay but I'll fuck your ass up, clown." He should have left it there, but I had secretly hoped he wouldn't. He said "I could take you chump" and I said "I bet you could take mandingo but you ain't gonna beat me in a fight," and at that he drew back his fist. Big mistake.

He should have known by the fact that my knuckles had obviously been broken before but my nose never had. I knew how this guy would fight before he even took a swing. I shifted my feet into stance (MMA) and waited for it - the haymaker swing I knew he would take. When it came I locked his fist under my arm and hit his bicep twice with my free hand, popping it from socket. As the right side of his body slumped down a bit from the critical blow I delivered and I used this momentum to drive his face into my knee. I put in a good kick when he hit the ground and asked if any of his buddies wanted me to introduce them to the floor as well. The guy with the glasses disappeared, which was useful as I don't fight guys with glasses, but there were at least another 3 that came after me.

The guy furthest away started running at me while the other two were more cautious, a wise decision seeing as I had just decimated their friend. I knew this pub like the back of my hand, and, while not breaking eye contact, I hooked a stool with my foot and slid it into this guy. He stumbled over it like a dope and took himself out pretty well. I finished the rest easily with a little Wing Chun and proceeded to hurl the limp bodies of those who hadn't crawled away out the door.

I stayed a little longer, drinking and chatting with Wally and then I started to head home. It was a pretty quiet night outside so I was quite aware of my surroundings and I sensed someones presence above me. I looked and it was the guy with glasses, hiding up a tree. I asked him what he was doing, in a friendly manner, and he said "when I saw you taking out those guys I ran, and I figured if you came after me this would be my best defense, to climb a tree."

i laughed like hell at this thanks steel

edit: and dude, steel doesn't care anything about you doing martial arts (hint: has to do with the whole thing about you thinking you're cool starting fights in school)

Then it was redundant since I prefaced everything with "I had a bit of an anger problem in high school."


This is pretty pointless though, unless you're all planning on signing up for the Special Olympics.