i liked

alex chilton is dead

man there's a ton more but aaaa

those are some really good fucking thoughts and i feel like i'm degrading fast to somewhere i don't really know and i wish i knew what is wrong with me. brrzzffbrfzzz... that's a great uzig song.

also alex chilton no fucking way.

the rapist

Just noticed something ironic. The lecturers union's (that is currently putting my whole education plan in jeopardy by keeping up that stupid strike) acronym is SCCCUM. Yep.... scum.

ramci you should see a therapist or something. you keep saying these marginally cryptic things and its scary dude!!

go eat a flower hamster

i'm gonna copy those wise words now and digest them thoroughly...some day... i'll/you'll see the results (shit)

ramci you should see a therapist or something. you keep saying these marginally cryptic things and its scary dude!!

i don't want a therapist!! no money and fuck bureacracy. i felt awful last night that sort of ruined a meeting a night in bar for my friends. for some time i have felt that i am not doing fucking enough to develope my thinking because my friends and you guys seem suprisingly past the level of thinking i do. i mean i think about those...art questions!! and whatever stuff and somehow you guys make it seem pretty easy when i struggle with shit and i feel bit awful. it's not jealousy, it's just something i have felt genuively concerned for a long time and there seems to be some things that seems real about this concern and i want to figure them out.

it's that same fucking fear and the sense of inferioty that was built in me since childhood and it's just one of those problems i try to figure out by myself. i think that thinking about this stuff by yourself matters more than any therapist in the world since the function of therapy seems more about removing the treshold of explaining difficult personal topics/subjects. basically i think for the past two years i have been working on my faults and fears and i'm doing alright with it. besides my real-life friends you guys have been the best help so welp thanks guys, thanks for worrying about me!! thanks Gabriel. My Topic in tomatoland blows but it's one way to purge all this shit i have.


also related to issue, BUTTKILLER. buttkiller rules and i just feel awful seeing his guilt since i GUASS i know how he feels right now. i was pretty close of doing all those things to myself at high school but i didn't for whatever reasons but holy shit fuck those... flames of shame!! fuck them.things got easier as the school ended and i started to talk and figure out my problems one by one.
 
point is that it feels like a huge waste seeing him just loathing stuff when judging from his thoughts and preferences he seems like a good, smart person!!! i hope he thinks about his feelings and try talk & figure them out at some point. ever since his really honest uh speed-topic (feelin' awful saying this heh) he was like the best new member of 2009 and that dumb buttkiller invite to tomatoland - topic was just a way to express it. i made a mistake for not explaining stuff about the tomatoland in gw in general.

i guess everybody feels like a huge douche of life in some way at times but some of us just get knee-deep into that guiltshit so that it gets harder and harder to get out from it as time passes. the worst part about this and depression is how there is this FEAR that one day you can't get out and how this shit slowly becomes part of your personality. the only way out of this seems to be that you start facing those fears and shame somehow and there's hope in that. and so far it seems that you really can get out of it in time and i suppose people should try to do this more!!!

blargh urhg BRAINTAPE also check out at least my link of Big Star guys. alex chilton owns rules and rapes & will continue that in heaven. basically one of the few guys of music i'd ever really felt worth or HONOURED meeting and he's pretty much the unknown john lennon. the bona fide of all pop and rock heroes. the legend. *violent, simultaneous vomit and farting spree*