Do you ever feel paranoid or depressed or has your drug use ever had an adverse effect on your schoolwork?
Eh, I used to smoke pot pretty often during high school and college. My dad's been big on pot since he was a teenager, and he introduced me to it when I was around 14 years old. His reasoning was that he'd rather have me do it with him than go out and do it with my friends and possibly get into some sort of trouble because of it.
My senior year of high school and my freshmen year at college were probably the years of heaviest use. I always got together with a good friend and toked up and played X-box Live or talked about things that were on our minds. It was cool for a minute.
Shortly after I decided to take some time off from college things started going to shit for me. I smoked often and started hanging out with a lot more people who were into pot. It got to the point where there was almost always someone chillin' at my apartment and smoking their weed with me for free. The apartment turned into a bit of a flophouse as a result of this, and we ended up moving out two months before the lease was up because I couldn't find a job and there were simply too many people sleeping on the couch or in the floor.
After that, pot started losing its appeal to me. It seemed to have a different effect when I smoked it. I didn't feel like talking or playing video games anymore. I was kinda sick of everyone around me and I didn't know who I could trust anymore. I spent a lot of time wondering if I would ever go back to college or if I would end up slaving away in a factory somewhere for the rest of my life.
I became extremely introverted. I would hang out with only one friend of mine, and even then I might say three words the whole time we were chilling together. Weed started making me feel sick instead of relaxed and careless. Sometimes I would dry heave or I would feel like my teeth were going to fall out. I would get high, look at the people around me and ponder on how I didn't really relate to any of them.
I finally stopped smoking about six months ago and I never really have the urge to pick it back up again. Most of the people I know who smoke pot have graduated from high school but still seem to be trying to hang onto their teenage years. My girlfriend's little brother used to sell the shit and still smokes on a daily basis. He doesn't try to work, treats his girlfriend badly most of the time and only wants to sit around and play video games. When his girlfriend moves out of the house with me and my girlfriend, he's gonna be left alone in a house that should be condemned with no electricity or running water.
I don't doubt for a second that his pot smoking habit has a lot to do with his apathy. It made me the same way for a while, and I ended up in a pretty bad situation because of it.
Getting high has only made me paranoid a couple of times, though. Usually because I was dumb enough to smoke with people I hardly knew in places that I didn't know how to get back home from.
At my lowest point, I woke up one morning when I didn't have to go in to work at the factory and smoked a joint by myself. No one was at the house, and I took my dad's shotgun and held it under my chin for a few minutes. I thought very seriously about killing myself, but I kinda lost my nerve and came to my senses.
I still stayed in a really bad funk for about 6 months, though. I talked to myself more than anyone else. Everyone thought I was really strange for a while, because in a group of people I showed absolutely no interest in talking to anyone. I would just kinda sit around and watch everyone else interact without saying anything.
I've managed to do pretty well now that I've moved back to my hometown and hooked up with an incredibly cool girl. I'm going back to school this semester and moving into another apartment at the end of this month. I'm prolly gonna become a manager at my job. I enjoy being sober more than trying any types of drugs. At the most I'll go to the bar and see some music and down a few beers or a couple of shots and play pool with my girlfriend.
I'm cool with people who choose to do drugs but still have a life, though. I don't see a whole lot that's wrong with it if you can still manage to not live with your parents or go to jail because of it.
i heard that proper ganja was hard to come by in the states, but hash was relatively easy... is this true, or false? or dependant on state?
I live in Tennessee, and I've never really seen hash. Pot, however, seems to be in abundance. I've seen it in pretty much every county I've lived in. I've bought it from countless people and smoked it with even more. Hell, up until a couple of weeks ago I could have gone out of my room, walked across the hall into my girlfriend's brother's room and bought a fuckin' pound if I had the money and wanted it.