Sex with people in Relationships/Engagements.

yeah. i mean i grew in this type of enviroment where this kind of shit was encouraged. i.e. i would get drunk in seedy mexican pubs. still, its pretty nasty and somewhat sexist to be fair (i.e. it obviously is her choice if she wants to open her vagina to foreign dicks and you cant do anything about it.) of course, if someone forced my girlfriend into sex (rape) that is a different can of worms and i would murder the fucker

It's a complete betrayal of trust. I really shouldn't have to explain this but, when you enter into a relationship there's a mutual trust that either of you aren't going to fuck around on each other. That's how a monogamous relationship works. I think anger/violence is a completely justified reaction if some slimy asshole comes around and knowingly has sex with someone's partner. Obviously people shouldn't go hitting their spouse and the relationship should be ended based on a demonstrated inability for one party to uphold their end of the bargain, but the man/woman outside of the relationship is fair game for a beatdown.

Last Edit: October 12, 2008, 06:03:33 am by DietCoke

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Barack Obama

#104 October 12, 2008, 06:08:24 am

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Quote from: Marmot on October 12, 2008, 05:03:20 am

its a stupid reaction. ffffffff porcelaine women need their stud thats the gender roles arent they

women who beat the shit out of women that fuck around with their husband are pretty justified too. fyi

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headphonics

#105 October 12, 2008, 06:09:51 am

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i don't really think you did anything wrong. cheating has been kind of stigmatized as ALWAYS ALWAYS WRONG but i think there are a wide variety of extenuating circumstances that justify it, or at least make it understandable. if it was just her being kind of trampy and blowing off her boyfriend's trust then that's pretty shitty and indicative of her character, but if the relationship is in the pits and he is gone the large majority of the time, and you two have ACTUAL CHEMISTRY and are maybe kind of in the process of forming a relationship then i think that's pretty alright. like it still kind of sucks to cheap but if you're really trying to start something and she's into you more than he is her actual boyfriend, i don't think it's so bad.

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Barack Obama

#106 October 12, 2008, 06:10:55 am

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Quote from: Marmot on October 12, 2008, 05:01:23 am

btw anyone who gets violent because someone hit on their partner and/or had sex with her is backwards as hell

hehe look who's caught up in gender roles, you automatically assume the person cheating or being hit on is a WOMAN

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headphonics

#107 October 12, 2008, 06:11:26 am

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Quote from: DietCoke on October 12, 2008, 06:00:55 am

It's a complete betrayal of trust. I really shouldn't have to explain this but, when you enter into a relationship there's a mutual trust that either of you aren't going to fuck around on each other. That's how a monogamous relationship works. I think anger/violence is a completely justified reaction if some slimy asshole comes around and knowingly has sex with someone's partner. Obviously people shouldn't go hitting their spouse and the relationship should be ended based on a demonstrated inability for one party to uphold their end of the bargain, but the man/woman outside of the relationship is fair game for a beatdown.

explain why the girl who fucks a dude in a relationship (maybe even out of ACTUAL AFFECTION) is somehow more deserving of violence than the guy who completely betrayed his spouse's trust

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headphonics

#108 October 12, 2008, 06:12:06 am

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bitch i fuck you up for fucking wit my man

but guy who fucked me over hardcore your alright PEACE

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Barack Obama

#109 October 12, 2008, 06:22:18 am

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I can't believe you guys are OK with this kind of slimy shit. It is NOT OK to have sex with someone in a serious relationship, just tell them to end their relationship before you get involved and exercise a little respect and self-control!

Quote from: headphonics on October 12, 2008, 06:11:26 am

explain why the girl who fucks a dude in a relationship (maybe even out of ACTUAL AFFECTION) is somehow more deserving of violence than the guy who completely betrayed his spouse's trust

depends on circumstances. if the woman he cheated with did so knowingly, then she is an outside element that is knowingly being a piece of shit.

Inter-relationship violence just isn't acceptable on my own arbitrary terms.

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headphonics

#110 October 12, 2008, 06:27:04 am

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oh thats cool

i mean its pretty lame but man it just seems kind of childish to be like noooo never do this!!! IDEALLY it would not happen and they would just wait but idk sex is kind of a big part of a relationship and i think it'd be weird to leave a serious relationship for someone you haven't even been physically intimate with! people cheat all the time and it's shitty but yeah i think there are times when it is pretty understandable not necessarily a huge, negative reflection on the person's values. like it's one of the more understandable mistakes a person can make i think

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Barack Obama

#111 October 12, 2008, 06:32:29 am

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Quote from: headphonics on October 12, 2008, 06:27:04 am

oh thats cool

i mean its pretty lame but man it just seems kind of childish to be like noooo never do this!!! IDEALLY it would not happen and they would just wait but idk sex is kind of a big part of a relationship and i think it'd be weird to leave a serious relationship for someone you haven't even been physically intimate with! people cheat all the time and it's shitty but yeah i think there are times when it is pretty understandable not necessarily a huge, negative reflection on the person's values. like it's one of the more understandable mistakes a person can make i think

how is exercising respect for others and self-control childish???

no matter how you slice it: it's fucked up, don't do it, handle the situation like a mature adult and wait for them to be outside of a relationship before you get involved.

people who can't manage to do that are fucking assholes and slimy pieces of shit, trust me I'm good friends with a lot of them!

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headphonics

#112 October 12, 2008, 06:39:44 am

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nah i didn't mean that was childish, i mean like this kind of insane reactionary attitude most people have to cheating seems kind of childish and naive to me. like WHAT NO WHAT KIND OF PERSON WOULD DO THIS???? it's kind of ridiculous!

i mean i really just do not care that much about cheating and i think that is the direction some others are moving in as well! if your relationship is sexually unsatisfying i don't really think it should be a breach of trust to fuck someone else (most monogamous relationships are too possessive i think) just for some type of sexual gratification. and the alternative is that you're actually involved with another person and not just fucking them in which case why even bother waiting when it's clear the relationship you're in is basically already over to begin with and you're essentially involved in another one while your current one is in its death throes? why does it make it better that the girl who ditched you for another guy didn't have sex until after she told you he was ditching you? i mean we clearly have different views on monogamous relationships and that's alright but i don't think you should impose your perspective on HOW RELATIONSHIPS NEED TO BE (ALWAYS!!) on other people who don't agree, especially when the current setup is actually kind of unideal.

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Farren

#113 October 12, 2008, 06:42:56 am

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but if you look at it from another viewpoint (which might not be relevant to this topic) if its just a one night/quick sling and you don't know her too well

WHY would you give a shit. THEN, I think its her bad not the dude boning her. Because he doesn't know her and he couldn't care less so I think all of the blame would fall on her.

DEUCE: MEETING THE URINE UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL AND REALIZING IT'S JUST LIKE ME AND MY PREJUDICES THIS WHOLE TIME WERE COMPLETELY FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF PTTTTHTHTHH GOD IT'S EVERYWHERE<br />DEUCE: FUCK THIS TASTES LIKE PISS<br />PANTS: WHERE IT SHOULD TASTE LIKE COTTON CANDY OR PICKLES<br />DEUCE: OR AT LEAST LIKE URINE NOT PISS

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Feldschlacht IV

#114 October 12, 2008, 06:50:24 am

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I wonder how much experience with relationships the posters in this topic have? Of course this is just curiosity speaking.

I better not ask that however or everyone will get mad.

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Feldschlacht IV

#115 October 12, 2008, 06:54:06 am

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And of course if there's a problem in the relationship that warrants one to consider cheating, one would think the logical thing to do would be to get together with your partner and talk about it, and if it's impossible to fix said problem, end the relationship like mature adults.

But I guess that's asking too much! I'm going to sleep with my neighbor in my girlfriends soft bed.

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headphonics

#116 October 12, 2008, 06:56:56 am

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yo sometimes SITTING DOWN AND CHATTING is not realistically an option when one party is unwilling and also some relationships are pretty messy to get out of and it is kind of something you have to work towards and i actually think that CONNECTING WITH SOMEONE ELSE is what pushes a person to be able to see that something they have is over, not the other way around. like even if the relationship is not working, people form attachments and i don't really think it should be any surprise that it's easier to move away from someone a little bit by cheating than it is to move away from them completely by just breaking it off. when you are that close with a person i think it's a multiple-step process and i think perhaps that being close with someone else is one of the steps towards actually ending a relationship for real.

Last Edit: October 12, 2008, 07:00:26 am by headphonics

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Marmot

#117 October 12, 2008, 06:58:14 am

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Quote from: DietCoke on October 12, 2008, 06:10:55 am

hehe look who's caught up in gender roles, you automatically assume the person cheating or being hit on is a WOMAN

in my experience, it is more of a tendency of males to beat the fuck out each other when this kind of things happen. maybe its because i grew up in ..............beanerland where things from politics to trivial disagreements are solved by males in the streets with closed fists. its like saying that i am caught in gender roles for claiming that most rapists are male.

tbh i dont really mind having sex/making out with someone engaged if i dont know the dude. if he is my friend things are different.

Quote

It's a complete betrayal of trust. I really shouldn't have to explain this but, when you enter into a relationship there's a mutual trust that either of you aren't going to fuck around on each other. That's how a monogamous relationship works. I think anger/violence is a completely justified reaction if some slimy asshole comes around and knowingly has sex with someone's partner. Obviously people shouldn't go hitting their spouse and the relationship should be ended based on a demonstrated inability for one party to uphold their end of the bargain, but the man/woman outside of the relationship is fair game for a beatdown.

i am not saying cheating on your partner is not bad. i am saying that anyone who wants to beat other person for doing this is backwards. just be a real adult and LEAVE WOMAN rather than being a huge manchild about it.

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Barack Obama

#118 October 12, 2008, 06:59:08 am

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Quote

why does it make it better that the girl who ditched you for another guy didn't have sex until after she told you he was ditching you?

Really!? You can't see a difference in the two situations?

Case one: She's honest with me and lets me know that she'd like to end the relationship so she could go on and have a relationship with someone else.

Case two: She's dishonest with me and doesn't have enough respect for me to let me know that she does not want to be in a relationship with me anymore while going out and having sex with another guy

you REALLY can't see why one would be worse than the other?????

Feldschlacht IV I'm starting to wonder the same thing.

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Marmot

#119 October 12, 2008, 07:00:42 am

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"posts about lack of experience in relationships because this is a videogame forum*

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Feldschlacht IV

#120 October 12, 2008, 07:01:32 am

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Quote from: headphonics on October 12, 2008, 06:56:56 am

yo sometimes SITTING DOWN AND CHATTING is not realistically an option when one party is unwilling and also some relationships are pretty messy to get out of and it is kind of something you have to work towards and i actually think that CONNECTING WITH SOMEONE ELSE is what pushes a person to be able to see that something they have is over, not the other way around.

Okay, first of all, if the relationship has degenerated to the point where I can't have a chat with my significant other over a major fundamental problem in the relationship in any capacity or medium, then the relationship is pretty much over because if that's the case I guess that would mean that said partner is dead or something.

And unless it's an abusive relationship, there's no such thing as 'messy to get out of'. And yeah, the thought occurs as if what if you're living with said partner and you can't just break up and leave because you share the rent or something, then yeah, that's the only messy scenario I can think of, but considering all of this, it's relatively rare.

And yeah, connecting with someone else takes time, enough time for me to call the partner up and tell them "Hey look..." before I just go out and bang someone.

Seriously.

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