I used to think my chihuahua could fly and would throw her a lot because I was convinced she could just fly!  I was like 3 or 4.



I blame my parents for knowing this about me and still leaving me alone with that dog.

I used to think priests were omniscient

i used to think that "home plate/fourth base" was getting married.

Oher than christianity, i was a fairly well informed child really.

Santa, i guess.

I was always told;

don't pick your nose, or your head will collapse in on itself

i never put a finger up there ever again

-jerking off would reduce your dick size
-mountain dew kills sperm
-santa claus
-easter bunny
-monsters
-masturbating was gay (idk when i was young my best friend said this A LOT but how wrong he was)
-christianity


lots of other stuff.

-That Six Flags was really just a hop, skip, and jump away.
-That there was always something\somebody watching me (The Truman Show).

I'm surprised I didn't see this topic raped with CHRSTIANTITY LOL.

As a child I believed in all those mythical creatures like Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, etc etc rainbows.

As a child I believed in ... rainbows.

Me too now I don't believe in them anymore. They are compulsive liars.

my dad used to go out and night and move the gnomes he kept in the garden around so i thought they came alive at night.

also my dad used to take me to a supermarket and whenever i asked for something off the shelf he said that someone had licked it so i wouldn't want it.

my dad also used to pretend that there was a race of giant biscuits which lived in the wild and whenever we went on a long drive he would make a big show about trying to avoid running over the body of a dead biscuit on the road.

these are a few of the excellent things my dad used to make us believe.

-masturbation is gay.  think about it...you're toching your dick, lol
-I used to believe I had a third testicle when I was like eight (this is not a joke)
-My dad said he wanted to collect Iraqi ears and store them in formaldehyde while he was walking me up to a parent-teacher conference.  I still can't believe it to this day because what he said was that reprehensible.  If it was a joke, it was stupid as shit.

- God

- I used to think I WASN'T circumsized because I didn't know what it entailed and I didn't remember anything being done to my dick that hurt A LOT and I sort of thought the dickhead was supposed to come off - I mean it just LOOKS like it's supposed to come off it doesn't match the whole rest of the penis

- I thought pasta was made of cheese or some other kind of dairy because you put cheese on it and the only form of grain I'd known so far in my life was like LOAF OF BREAD

- I might've thought if you stayed up until midnight you could FEEL the day change, but that might've been some movie - or maybe like, if you didn't go to sleep at all it would just never get light again

- Well anytime I fell asleep as a kid I would MAGICALLY end up in my bed if I wasn't already. So I thought maybe life worked like an RPG that way

- I thought everybody's schlong was so big

(number) in brackets suggests when I probably stopped believing.

- Grover and Big Bird were real and not puppets. (5)

- That babies came from eating 'Baby Food' until the mother's belly got big and somehow the baby would be shat out. (8)

- God. (15)

- That every Hollywood celebrity lived in my country and that all the shows on local television were being produced here. When I found out this was wrong, I was like awww ​  (7)

- Santa Claus (9)

- Tooth Fairy (9?)

- There was even a slight chance that my dog could talk (7)

tail was a dogs penis.

i can only thing of one thing besides santa/easter bunny/etc

i had no idea what a vagina looked like so I just assumed the skin kind of went inward just like an ass crack, but it still confused me how it was possible for girls to pee

kinda like this but i used to think they hired someone to karate chop it in

Santa
God
Other things like Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy...etc
That a Ghostbuster was an actual profession (I wanted to become one)

As a child I used to believe that drug users where horrible, evil people that should be removed from society.

You hear that GirlBones, that is what children probably think about you

i thought the blinkers button on the dashboard controlled the ejection seats.

I used to laugh ridiculously hard as a kid, to the point where my jugular veins would show up visibly on my neck.  My mom used to tell me that if I kept laughing that they would burst and I'd bleed to death.  I wouldn't be surprised if that's why I try to control my laughs now, 'cause the thought of that happening scared the living buttcock out of me.

I also had some misconceptions surrounding female genitalia, too, but I can't remember.