I am so glad that you look OK and that things have been not too bad sometimes. Hopefully the best is made of a bad situation. By the way, initially I found the first picture (BIG NECK) really upsetting but as more of it loaded it looked kind of comical, sorry. I think it was the expression and the gesture.

get better soon man. you don't look bad!

edit: i don't mean that in a gay way.

edit: i don't mean that in a gay way.

You do.

I'm so glad my doctor said TAKE WHATEVER PAINKILLERS YOU NEED btw. it makes life a lot easier!

anyways things have been more or less good. I'm going to contact a few other centers about alternative treatments just in case. currently (if anyone's interested) I'm on BEC, three stage process chemo, which is three different chemicals, bliomycin, cisplatin, and e something that I forgot the name of. of these, cisplatin is a week long process which I had one of and was the really rough one. I've already undergone one cycle, and have to go through three.

in other news I read Lance Armstrong's books and he had virtually the same treatment (although in his case it had progressed to stage 3 like with me but was EVERYWHERE. dude had to have brain surgery, testicle removed, and I think his BEC was more intense because he stayed hospitalized). it sounds like second, third, and fourth cycles are going to be way rougher; his first had been like mine in that the nausea is nothing more than morning nausea.

but by cycles three and four, it turned awful; he could see his SKIN BURN and shit as his muscles fell apart and his entire day was NOT GONNA BARF for like weeks on end. so now I'm kind of upset because I was hoping all of chemo would be like this but I'm in for some rough times it seems. like this nausea is nothing compared to what's coming

in other news those little hairs have still been falling out and they are itchy, it sucks.

lastly if this doesn't work apparently I'm really fucked so I've been thinking a bit more about death than I should, but honestly with the knee pain subsided, I'm feeling okay! still positive attitude and really this whole thing is more ANNOYING than scary right now. Armstrong's doctor apparently later told him he was in the 3% survival zone and I wonder if my doc is lying to me buttttt honestly one area, one tumor, I think that 50%+ is still valid.

sorry this post is a little all over the place! I am on some painkillers heh...high posting but mostly my thoughts are all over the place!

hey steel, legitimate question (gasp).  i think you got accepted into the university of minni'soda or something so what's the deal with that?  i don't know when college terms/years/whatever-you-measure-college-class-times-in start but will this affect your learnin'?

had to defer, they'll hold my seat until next year. cost 600 bucks though!

did you tell them you had cancer? maybe they'll waive the fee, that's kind of harsh!

its what they charge to hold the seat normally, so.

but having cancer isn't normal circumstances

well, I mean if you say I HAVE CANCER WAIVE THE FEE, then you'd have to send them medical bills and probably notarized notes and stuff to prove it, otherwise everyone would be doing it

And I can't really picture a school asking you in some sort of letter to provide PROOF OF CANCER. It just seems so unsympathetic...

guys you have to pay to hold a seat for over a year when you defer, it's just something everyone does! they aren't going to just hold it for me because I'm a cancer guy!

now what IS weird is they want me to pay it AGAIN in a year. after all this is over I'll be contesting that for sure (I mean, what the fuck?)

Steel, man. ;d rather call you by your proper name for the supprtovive connection on it but, just to stress,  i'm proper confident in you.

Absolutely no chance he'll not kick cancer up the fucking arse. Go on son, for all of us. Looking forward to you being well again, even if it is in a distant internet way.

yeah i wonder how many people are praying for 'magical negro'

Did you ever try talking to a Naturopathic Doctor just to get a different perspective?

yeah steel go waste your money on some aging hippie telling you to eat a pinecone or whatever. veganism cures cancer!!!

Did you ever try talking to a Naturopathic Doctor just to get a different perspective?

no because I'm not a fucking idiot.

Haha ok.  Too bad naturopathic doctors study pretty much everything a regular doctor studies plus more.  It's good to ask around and get other's opinions.